FRIENDSHIPS AND ........

The handsome gentleman in the above picture, is a personal friend that I visit once or twice a year! He never gets any older and therefore doesn't realize that I do! He's really a "steady Eddy", don't you think? ;-)

We spent 3 wonderful days with my best friend and her hubby, over the Easter holiday. Had such a great time. My best friend and I met when we were age 5. We've had such a special sense of how to keep our friendship going...even after a terrible year in high school where we didn't speak to one another for several months! I don't really remember who "went first" to patch things up, but we did! That's pretty tough when you're a teenager of 16! Our lives after high school went a different direction, and other than for a short period of time, we haven't lived in the same town, or even state for that matter. We have lived 4 hours apart for the last several years and talk on the phone frequently. Even though we were half a continent away from one another for an extended period of time, we never lost our connection. How precious to have a friend that has known you since you were a child, and can still laugh, cry, reminisce over one another's families, and feel that we are truly sisters! Love you, best bud!

When I was young, it was difficult to have more than one friend at a time, unless it was a very large group and no two were "best" friends. There was an exception to this when 4 of us just got along and had the best time together! I think that was due to personalities that just meshed. But as I age, my heart has expanded and made room for several friends. Some are only a distant memory now, others are simply gone, yet many remain so necessary to me. By this, I mean there are friends that cause me to think more than I'd like to, sometimes! Others that keep me in stitches. Some who bring out a more tender, compassionate side of me and still others who are steady and reliable. Each one fills a niche in me whose loss would be noticed if they weren't in my life! I also have a cousin that is like a sister to me! We no longer live in the same area, but each time we visit one another, it's like it was yesterday! The most special part, is that nearly all of my friends are saved, and we get to spend forever together!! Whoo-hoo! :-)

One of my friends and I went to the mall the day after we returned from our getaway. My friend walked out with such an adorable puppy! A little 3 month old Bichon/Poodle mix. She has future plans for him to be a hospital therapy dog! What an inspiration that is. This particular friend has health issues that would have laid flat the strongest of men! God picks her up time and again and gives her the most amazing joy I've seen in a person! The next day we met at the vet's...her puppy for a well-puppy checkup and my dog for his rabies and bordatella vaccine. So, all the best to her and Benjie!

Also this week, visited one of my daughters a couple of times, had fun conversations with my son and also my other two daughters. My oldest daughter and her hubby will be visiting soon! Today, I had lunch with another friend, and as usual, the time went too quickly! We could visit for hours, if we could find those extra hours! Tomorrow night, some fairly new friends are coming to dinner, and we are both looking forward to that.

To round up the next couple of months, going on a 4 day trip with one of my daughters to visit her son in college, modeling in a hair and fashion show in mid-May, attending my son's college graduation and a grandson's high school graduation when another daughter and grandkids will be visiting, then in early June, having shoulder surgery if I don't chicken out! :(

Intersperse this with birthday club, church activities and some home projects, and I should lost a pound or two!

I am so excited about my home projects, and expect to get those underway this next week! Or, maybe not, as I look at my calendar realistically. Wish I could just phase out sleep!

WHAT AM I THINKING?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Keep it short,
Or your readers will be few!

Just read on the internet that written articles on blogs should be short and sweet! Mine are long and opinionated! Well, well! So, I guess that answers my question as to why I'd put out a request to nearly 50 people to read and comment, and about 2 a day check it out, no comments and about zero time spent reading! Sorry about that! Guess this will be for my venting time! She was a legend in her own mind! ;-)

ADOPTION

When I was in grade school, I asked my mom if I was adopted. She was quite taken aback by this, and rushed to show me my birth certificate and newspaper clipping, proving that biologically, I was theirs! My best friend was adopted as a baby. We met when we were 5 years old and are best friends to this very day! I have never since that day to this, thought of my friend as having a different kind of parent, or being loved less, or more insecure, any of those things! Later in life, I have had other friends who were also adopted. One of my cousins adopted 2 children, then she had a biological child. Have you ever heard anyone say that someone "adopted 2 or 3 children, then had a surprise one of her own?" What were the other 2 or 3...not her own?

This article started as a follow-up on an article written by one of my daughters who has adopted 2 children from C*hina. In 2005, she and her husband had 3 biological children, ages 17, 15 and 12. They adopted a 10 month old daughter. In 2007, they adopted a 28 month old son. So now, the parents are ages 42 and 44, and the kids are 21, 18, 16, 4 and 4! (They also took in an exchange student from So. K*orea for the current school year!)

When I first held each of my 11 grandchildren, there was not one speck of difference in my love for any of them. That says it all...no further words or explanation necessary.

Has there been a difference for those two little children? Yes. There are needs not found in a newborn you have given birth to, loved, bonded with, met needs for and built a home of security for. Most adopted children from third world countries had a life before becoming our family member. The best I can do here is present you with a word picture: imagine your 2 year old, taken by you, to a strange building many miles from home, carried into an office-like room with many strangers and other little children, most crying or screaming, many faces not looking like yours and speaking words not understandable. At some point, the child is "handed over" by you and you quickly leave the room. Do you think that 2 year old is grateful and realizes how much they have been longed for and how much they have been loved before they were seen? No! Most react with screaming, kicking, biting, absolute terror! Our precious God begins to quiet these little ones, but as with us, it is a process. There are many sites and books that would give you insight into these children's lives, before and after. One book I recently read, "Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt, was definitely a worthwhile read.

James 1:26, 27: If anyone thinks he is religious, without controlling his tongue but deceiving his heart, his religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

This article has come about due to some painful experiences by many who have adopted children, particularly those who have been older and from other countries. Most newborns in other countries are not allowed to be adopted until they are older, although this is not true in all countries. Much can happen in the early months and years of a child. Many adopting parents are "older" parents, meaning 30+ and 40+. Socially, life changes as well, as they are now new parents of infants and toddlers. Their friends are parents of middle-school, high school or college aged kids. Other parents with very young children are usually 20+. Suddenly, you are in "The Gap"! You don't quite fit in with very young first-time parents, and your old friends may begin to find you a bit tedious! Oh yes, and that can be vocalized in uncaring ways, even though not meant to be mean-spirited. I have witnessed attitudes that are completely heart-breaking. There is as much excitement over adopting a child as there is giving birth, admittedly in a different way, but the anticipation is the same in your loving heart! To not have your child greeted or welcomed, visited, oohed and aahed over, is extremely hurtful. To walk into a room of young mom's with your new child, to only be told hi and glanced at, and left standing there, is very awkward and very mean...sort of like high school days. These mom's with their new children, HAVE to devote countless hours, days, months, to bond with them. To reassure them that they are loved and not going to be sent away yet again. A few months ago, it was mentioned that when J*, the student from So K*orea would go back to K*orea, 2 sets of 4 year old ears perked right up! They asked a question..."do we go back to China?" Their eyes were big and a bit frightened and confused...perhaps startled would be a better description. They carefully listened to the explanation given, and sighed with relief and understanding that they would not be sent away from their family!

I just want to caution each of you in guarding your tongue with comments to other mom's. This includes those who continue to have biological children as well. Your opinion as to whether or not someone else should not have more children, whether biologically or through adoption is not only tactless and none of your business, but painful. Listen to some remarks made by "friends"..."Am sure glad it's you and not me!" (They are glad as well.) "Wow, why would you want more kids when your others are nearly grown...time now for you and your husband!" (They have always made time for their husbnad, why haven't you?) "I don't agree with adopting outside of our own country...there's so many kids here." (There are lots of kids "over there" too! God loves them all and they all need homes.) "I'd go crazy staying at home with little kids at this age...it's time for me now!" (Well, just go and have the time of your life!) These are just samples of some remarks. But probably the worst is no remark of any kind...absolute silence...no phone ringing, no knock at the door, no nothing! Can get pretty lonely, although it wouldn't be traded for anything and would be done over again if given the choice!

So, it's the old "competition" mode for some:
two kids v. four or more kids
stay-at-home mom v. working mom
home-schooled v. public school
Christian school v. public or private school
breast-feeding v. bottle
blah blah v. blah blah, and the list goes on!

Who cares?! If it works for you and it's how you are led, why would someone else's opinion matter? We were recently out with several other couples our age, and one of the men said, "I just can't believe some people home-school their kids! All of them turn out weird!" I just stared at him and said, "That's not even a true statement! I've been around home-schooled kids who are delightful, intelligent, trustworthy, as well as some that had low morals and didn't learn much. I've also been around public, Christian and private schooled kids who are exactly the same...delightful, intelligent, trustworthy, as well as low morals and didn't learn much!" Who cares! If it works for you, do it, and leave everyone else alone!

If you want to stay at home and raise your kids...making them your ministry...do it! God will definitely bless that choice! If you can't stand to stay home, or can't afford to stay home, then go to work, and do the best you can in both worlds! It's nobody's business. Do it, if it works for you and your family. Sometimes, there's not a choice.

If you don't want to have children, then don't! If you want to have 15 kids, then do it! Who cares and whose business is it anyway? Okay, some will say but then the government has to end up supporting some of these kids. So what?! The government supports lots of "things" we're not in favor of. Always has, always will.

So, be kind to one another and love one another. If you're too busy to be a friend, I feel sorry for you!

If God's word says to look after orphans and widows, I consider this to be a church ministry. It should be valued and supported as much as any other ministry. So, blessings to all of you who reach out to embrace God's children...

FOR SOME, IT IS NEVER ENOUGH!

Before I begin to write about what is on my heart today, I just wanted to share some photos I took this afternoon in our front yard. What a beautiful blue sky day, just enough of a breeze to set the bright yellow stems of the forsythia waving to me, a myriad of little spring flowers blooming with the promise of summer, and yes, my little ducks just as happy as they can be! They are virtually happy during all four of God's seasons! The soon to be fully unfurled leaves against the blue sky is a beautiful contrast...one comes and goes, the other remains constant. We know that blue sky and sun is always there, even when cloud or fog-covered!

The months of Spring have such cute little rhymes to herald them in, such as: March goes out like a lion and April comes in like a lamb! April showers bring May flowers! In the merry, merry month of May! Then June 21st will arrive and it's summer once again! The intense heat that we experience for awhile, is my least favorite time of year, but I remain a reasonably good sport and happy that others are having such a blast! Just give me air conditioning! My most favorite time of year is Fall and it includes one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving!

Since my hubby and I are using the Chronological One Year Bible for our mutual devotions this year, the reading in the Old Testament only, has invoked much thought, hence the title, "For Some, It Is Never Enough!"

The Israelites were and are, so loved and protected by God, made supernaturally wise and strong, He went before them so many times, provided them victory in countless battles, appeared to some, spoke to some, His Spirit indwelled some for specific purposes, provided them with sustenance, gave them explicit instructions with both the reward that could be received through obedience, and the consequences for turning from Him and being disobedient. Yet time and again, God's love, protection, victories and compassion, was not enough for sinful man. Time and again, they disobeyed and suffered dire consequences. They turned back and received blessings, then turned around again and received their due consequences. God's love, compassion and blessings were just not enough for the majority. The words of His prophets were not enough. Manna was not enough. Providing an escape from Egypt was not enough. The Promised Land was not enough. Nothing was.

So what does a loving Father do? He forgives yet again and continues to love. This time, the final act of love...the giving of His only begotten Son, as a gift that would continue to each generation, until God says, "Enough". Amazingly, the sacrifice of His Perfect Son is...not enough. Right at this moment, my eyes are filling with tears...I cannot believe it...it's not enough for some! Yet I know that as long as any are breathing in and out, given continuing life, that their heart can open to their Father and receive his most marvelous gift.

If you are a believer, please recognize that each second on the clock is one second closer to Jesus' return! You need to tell people about Jesus! If you are not a believer, please recognize that each second on the clock is one second closer to you passing into eternity. That's forever! No second chances!

Have you ever read God's word? Begin with Mark or John. As you read through the New Testament, ask yourself what is on those pages that you find to be a very poor way to live and treat yourself, your family and your neighbor. If right now, you are involved in things that you enjoy, specifically those things that God condemns, know that you can still accept Christ as your Savior, and you will be amazed at how quickly your new life in Christ will willingly turn from the sin that has you in bondage! You will be free!

Jesus died that we may live. Please seek God and you will find Him. That is another promise. I am praying for YOU!